Is there any greater feeling than when America gets to say goodbye to baby Trump for the weekend and put him in the hands of trusted foreign babysitters?
Of course, it’s embarrassing when Trump throws his country all over the floor or has a temper tantrum until he gets to sit in the cart or hits on someone else’s wife in front of the cameras. But our fellow soon-to-be-former allies are doing a remarkable job entertaining our president until his parents (Congress) come home, which looks increasingly like … never.
Oh well. Here’s a look at how foreign leaders are doing a remarkable job of distracting Trump from adding more sh*t to the swirling storm of political sewage he’s let loose at home and abroad.
1. They gave him a big fancy parade to look at!
Trump initially wasn’t going to attend Bastille Day in Paris until he found out there was going to be a big parade. Trump loves a parade! Big sounds!
2. They let him take a cart instead of walking. Toot toot!
Trump was spotted taking a golf cart in lieu of walking with the rest of the foreign leaders at the G-7 summit. Our little guy must have been so tired.
3. And they let him hit on all the pretty ladies at the party.
Trump tells the First Lady of France, Brigitte Macron: Youre in such good shape beautifulpic.twitter.com/tKCzX15cPl
Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) July 13, 2017
Trump told Brigitte Macron that she was in “such good physical shape.” While Trump’s behavior violated nearly universal standards of human decency, people understood he’s a kid for chrissakes!
4. In the Middle East, they let him play with the biggest shiniest ball they had.
the trump orb will not save you pic.twitter.com/2MwA8Vy1V1
Mr.D TheBonfireMedia (@LordotDragons) June 4, 2017
5. And stay up and dance, way past his bedtime!
It’s Friday night and he’s having fun Trump-G-I-F!
6. Oh the places he went! The strange objects he touched!
“Who paid for you?” he whispered. But the old wall keeps her secrets. pic.twitter.com/xplQhXvzQ3
Jackie Jennings (@ohhijackie) May 22, 2017
7. Including his babysitters’ knees!
Ruby Rivlin is all, “Dude, is that your *hand* on my *knee*?” pic.twitter.com/nsYWmOZaOm
Lisa Goldman (@lisang) May 22, 2017
8. When he wandered off for a nap, they totally understood.
9. Trump can do whatever he wants! Say whatever he wants! Eat whatever he wants!
Anything is possible so long as he doesn’t hurt … them.
Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 14, 2017